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Our Trespasses

by Katy Stephan

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1.
i have a necklace that was carved from human hearts i wear it on a long leather string i left a body in the basement back in Bel Air but he was dead for several years before I got there and they can never prove a thing even if all the rumors are true I would never hurt you you saw my picture on a poster at the DMV but ten most wanted sounded like a compliment to me you think that blood’s the stain that’s hardest to remove you’ve never had to change the names on all of your tattoos even if all the rumors are true and all the rumors are true I would never hurt you it’s true love is a bullet to the head but without it, love you’re nine tenths dead I never meant to let the whole thing get this far I’m pretty sure the cops will probably find your car and for the full frontal assault on your attention and for the prison shower of affection I do not apologize even if all the rumors are true and all the rumors are true I could never hurt you
2.
why should I tell you and how could you understand how a nice girl like me wound up here why should I tell you and how could you understand why an ugly bloodstain marks this hand wasn't it pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty on the outside wasn't it pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty on this skin wasn't it pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty til the knife went in why can I describe a doll's house silhouette everything in its place laced up tight why should I tell you and how could you understand how an airless room can steal your breath wasn't it pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty on the outside wasn't it pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty on this skin wasn't it pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty til the knife went in
3.
sometimes fortresses crumble and castles fall sometimes nobody answers the distress call sometimes unnatural disaster just keeps coming on faster sometimes love is not enough after all sometimes mercy that you don’t deserve sometimes mercy you did nothing to earn sometimes mercy hovers above everything sometimes mercy covers you with her wing sometimes you wonder why you even try sometimes you’re under looking at water where there should be sky sometimes the promise that you tasted winds up withered and wasted and you don’t have any tears left to cry sometimes mercy that you don’t deserve sometimes mercy you did nothing to earn sometimes mercy hovers over everything sometimes mercy covers you with her wing
4.
I was tied to a tree that was loaded with apples and the drunken archer with the poison arrows was poised and taking aim straight at my head the drunken archer is always always me I was tied to a tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the subtle serpent with the frontal lisp was spinning out stories aimed straight at my brain the subtle serpent is always always me you are the songs of the birds above you are the wind in the trees you are the streamlet that waters the tree the drunken archer is always always me
5.
Eau de Vie 04:03
you can feel bad if it makes you feel better go ahead and be mortified but I'm not gonna wear your sackcloth and ashes I'm not singing a dirge when nobody died I don't know what it is exactly it's not what they talk about behind their dirty hands I don't know what it is exactly or why it's so easy to misunderstand cause for me it's pure as the water can't you see it's pure as the water of life the smallest sip of the strongest spirit a drop in the cup eau de vie But you can feel shame if it makes you feel prouder go ahead and abase yourself but I'm not gonna wear your sackcloth and ashes and I'm not a criminal myself I don't know what it is exactly it's not what they laugh about behind their filthy hands I don't know what it is exactly maybe it's too simple to understand cause for me it's pure as the water can't you see it's pure as the water of life the smallest sip of the strongest spirit a drop in the cup eau de vie
6.
you could be a castle ramparts and battlements who pulls the drawbridge down you could be a tower chiming with chapel bells throwing gold over the town you could be a cloister a bunker, a rectory I don’t know why I keep wondering what could be I was just a pilgrim passing by I took a picture with my phone the tallest point on the horizon standing alone you could be a lighthouse a guide glowing from afar sending me on my way you could be a staircase ascending up to heaven or just to another hallway I cannot inhabit a hallowed hall or make a home on holy ground why is it a locked room without a key is the only place I really want to be God bless our trespasses and those who walk through locked doors and those who open us God bless our trespasses and those who inhabit us and those who pass through the wall and those who chose to enter God bless our trespasses and those who would open us and those who must see what could be
7.
and if there is a heaven would you recognize the place would you know my new blemishless face and would I know you without your stubborn streak and if its filled with singing they say it’s filled with singing everyone brandishing a perfect high C wouldn’t you miss the harmony and the occasional tang of dissonance and if there is a heaven every flaw smoothed to perfection what would be the use of love isn’t love your favorite part of human and if there is a heaven if heaven is like heaven if there is bliss isn't it this

credits

released June 16, 2018

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Katy Stephan San Francisco, California

Katy Stephan's music is both sweet and salty, delicate and powerful.
Her voice has been featured in major motion picture soundtracks, TV movies and theme songs, and even in childrens toys. 
She has created original music for theatre productions, modern dance, and circus. 
“Beautiful sonic valentines handcrafted from oaths, prayers, curses, feathers and frills.”
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